btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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