If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
