So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
oh god the rape fog is back!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How external is "for external use only"?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
