so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
