Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
