worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize