I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
