All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And then my night got REAL pukey
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
