I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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