how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
