Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
