did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
