If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
