Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
