Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
