She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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