doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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