Swine flu. Run for my life!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
zippers are such a cool invention
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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