I need help removing her.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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