you would pick up someone in the library
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
