I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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