dude i'm inner monologue high
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
