so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
