I smell stomach acid.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
