I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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