The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
