this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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