hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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