he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
