I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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