I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
