Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
