I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
this hospital has no fireball
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
