yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
