haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
