Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
