Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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