it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize