just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
