The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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