Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
