she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
