ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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