Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize