I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
