toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
