I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
