ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
