So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
