The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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