Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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