just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
