What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i out mim tonsoeep
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