Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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