Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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