Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
