you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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